STARRING:

1) YOURS TRULY



2) gingerbread donut 1 (purple + blue sprinkles) - the dingbat of the two
3) gingerbread donut 2 (green + blue spinkles)

31st November 2004

Me, a diligent girl as always, sat in my room doing past TEE papers- preparation for my upcoming TEE examination. In the midst of all that thinking, my "minuscule" tummy cried out for fuel.

I mean literally.

It went something like "You fucking nincompoop. Satisfy me or I'll torment you with grueling gastric pains- so bad you'll wish you're on permanent anesthetic"

Gawd! It's apparent that "minuscule" tummy has the same sense of humor as yours truly.

So aggressively raunchy yet somewhat acutely satirical.

So, "Nevermind the hunger, that can easily be solved with some DONUTS", I thought.

[*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*]

My ghastly white feet gravitated towards the ground as I sought for food- what felt like an earthquake to the donuts.

At the dank corner of my kitchen lay two rather mouthwatering donuts conversing in "donut" language. Coincidentally, "donut" language is similar to what we call English.


[Writer's note: Gingerbread donut 1 has grammatical issues]





Digressing a bit,

I had to assume gingerbread donut 1's and 2's sex.

Guys do not have their doodles hanging loose. There are connotations to the words "private parts" thus it's a norm of society to have their doodles and balls kept PRIVATE. And THANK GOD.

The lead up to drawing a penis on is FAR FROM PLEASANT. Nauseating and traumatising, in fact.

The process includes:

1) a search for "hard monster dicks" on

MUAHAHAHA.

You're DAMN RIGHT Gingerbread donut 2. I've got cravings and I want a donut RIGHT NOW.

But since you're the smarter of the lot, I'll spare you...

FOR NOW!

A girl is entitled to multiple cravings, just like she is entitled to multiple orgasms.





Really? oh thank you!! MANY have told me. so CUT THE CRAP and for the love of christ stop stating the obvious.





MUAHAHAHAHA! Yummylicious donuts. I'm on a sugar high! (hops around like orange tigger)

Shut up. You're next in the line.

Beg. Plead. Worship. Come on!


[funeral music playing]




Gingerbread donut 2's constant sobbing got on my nerves. So I slapped the sugar sprinkles out of him the exact way you slap the shit out of someone.

If it ever crossed your mind for even a split second to buy a donut to reenact the above. You're a retard and an utter disgrace to the human race. Go back to primary school or even nursery. Both donuts and stomachs don't talk and never will, so DREAM ON or WAKE UP.